Spiritual direction is a reflective and prayerful relationship in which one person (the “director”) accompanies another as they explore their spiritual life and seek a deeper awareness of God. Despite its name, spiritual direction is less about giving direction and more about attentive listening, thoughtful questions, and discernment. The spiritual director creates a confidential, welcoming space where the individual can speak honestly about faith, doubt, relationships, decisions, suffering, and hope.
The person receiving spiritual direction is often called a directee. During regular, usually monthly, meetings, the directee reflects on where they sense God’s presence, absence, invitation, or movement in their daily life. Depending on the person’s faith tradition, this language may focus on God, the Divine, the Spirit, or sacred presence. The director listens not only to the directee’s words, but also observes patterns, emotions, silences, desires, and questions that may reveal spiritual growth or inner resistance.
Spiritual direction has roots in many religious traditions, particularly Christianity, where it developed through monastic communities, contemplative practices, and traditions of spiritual companionship. Today, it is practiced in diverse settings and may be offered by clergy, members of religious communities, or trained laypeople. Practices such as silence, prayer, meditation, sacred reading, journaling, or imaginative reflection may be incorporated when appropriate.
Spiritual direction differs from counseling, coaching, mentoring, and pastoral care. Therapy usually focuses on emotional health, psychological patterns, trauma, or mental illness, while coaching often emphasizes goals and performance. Spiritual direction primarily attends to the directee’s relationship with the sacred and the spiritual meaning of lived experience. It is not a substitute for mental health treatment, medical care, or crisis support, although it can complement them.
People pursue spiritual direction for many reasons: to deepen prayer, discern a vocation or major decision, navigate a transition, reconnect with faith, process spiritual struggle, or become more attentive to meaning in ordinary life. A trustworthy director respects the directee’s freedom, maintains appropriate boundaries, protects confidentiality, and avoids imposing personal beliefs or controlling decisions. At its best, spiritual direction helps people listen more deeply to all their desires, recognizing what gives life, responding faithfully to their values, and growing in compassion, freedom, and integrity.
To find out more about spiritual direction at St. Paul’s Monastery, please call the Benedictine Center at 651-777-7251 or email Benedictinecenter@stpaulsmonastery.org. You may also register on our website (www.stpaulsmonastery.org) to attend “What is Spiritual Direction?” on the third Monday of the month from 6:30 to 7:30 pm on Zoom.
By Mary Ebb — Mary is the Spiritual Formation Coordinator
with the Benedictine Center of St. Paul’s Monastery. Mary is a trained
spiritual director through Christos Center for Spirituality in Lino Lakes,
Minnesota, with a background in full-time ministry, law, biblical studies,
and psychology. Her approach to spiritual direction centers on deep
listening and thoughtful questions that invite reflection and help people
deepen their relationship with God and others. She is especially passionate
about helping others recognize that they are beloved and discover how
to live more fully in God’s love.
